Tying the Knot: Forgiveness and My Bridegroom

“Take your time. You have to decide in your heart whether or not you want to forgive that person. If yes, tie the string on the cross. If no, that’s ok.”

The words of the speaker ran through my mind as I hold on to the string they gave to me. It was a white short string symbolizing that one person we have not forgiven yet. As we think about our wounders, if we decide to tie that on the cross, then it’s a declaration that we have forgiven them.

I remember vividly one night of December 2017. I asked the Lord, “Should I continue with this relationship? I think it’s a losing battle. I want to let go. I’m already tired.”

I opened the Bible, lo and behold, His Word, crystal clear, “Go in peace.” The rest was history.

“Again, pray to the Lord, and ask if you want to forgive the person from your heart.” As the speaker said those words, I cried holding on to the string. I asked Him, “Lord, do I want to forgive this person?” Then a still, gentle voice whispered in my ear, “Go in peace.”

This happened on the last week of October 2018. 10 months after that faithful night of 2017, this was the only time I understood His Words, “Go in peace.”

I cried. I cried as hard as I wanted to. I finally understood forgiveness. I finally understood letting go.

I approached the cross. I’m still crying. And as I tie that string, I said aloud His Words, “Go in peace.” After closing that knot, I saw a picture in my head, a child rushing to God, and God rushing to that child, hugging her as His own. I saw myself being hugged by my Father in heaven. It’s like He was saying, “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you, my child!”

I continued crying. And just like that, in my 8 years of being a Christian, this was the first time I felt that peace rushing through my heart. It felt like a thorn was removed from me.

Going in peace means not going out of that relationship. Going in peace now means to me, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” said by my Father in Heaven.

I am now reconciled again with my Father. I am now reconciled again with Him. Finally, I can enjoy our relationship with the root of bitterness gone in my heart. And a new relationship emerged. One that is so authentic, no one can replace. Thank you, Father. For I have found a new love in you. Who would have thought that letting go of that relationship will make me meet again my bridegroom, that is Jesus, taking that string of unforgiveness from me and calling me His.

This happened in a leadership training organized by Living Waters (Agos ng Buhay). If you are interested to know more, you can check out their website: https://www.livingwatersphilippines.org/wp_new/

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